Ok so we COULD try and make some wild claims about how if you order this box you will have the best nights sleep of your life and will no longer lay awake at night reliving the moment you said ‘you too’ to the delivery man who told you to enjoy your meal last Tuesday night.
We could say that you’d simply close your eyes at ten pm and be out like a light instead of reminiscing about how you used to stick rhinestones on your teeth for ‘Fashunnn’ and you actually think you might have swallowed one in science class and you’ve always been left wondering where in your intestines it might have been living for the last twenty years….
I dunno. Things like that. We could say things of that nature. But we won’t.
You will probably still sit up until 3am scrolling through the comments of someone in Dorsets argument with someone in Aberdeen about whether or not it’s acceptable to to refuse parcels for your neighbours if their cat once peed in your hydrangeas.
We aren’t miracle workers. You are who you are hun.
However. You can do all of that while smelling fantastic and enjoying that insane HPC aesthetic in our latest box release, the GO THE F**K TO SLEEP collection.
Please allow a maximum of five working days for dispatch.